August 18th 2001

There's a couple of items this week. The first one involves one of those inane polls which you always see in the old tabloids, and the second is one from the Times involving some word play.

This one from monday's Sun came as a surprise to me. Now I've got no problem with the ladies choosing DC over Becks, but surely the question should've regarded our old pal and self-confessed womaniser Eddie Irvine. I mean, tell me if I'm wrong girls, but I would've thought DC's ridiculously square jaw would've had a detrimental effect on his attractiveness. But what do I know..........

DC tops sex poll

It’s official – Formula 1 is sexier than football.

Seventy-six per cent of women would rather have a date with McLaren ace David Coulthard than Manchester United heartthrob David Beckham, according to a poll commissioned by Egg.

Two-thirds of women said that a racing driver would be their dream date, while a mere nine per cent would rather go out with a footballer.

And F1 was more popular with the men too – 38 per cent want to be a racing driver while just 14 per cent would prefer to be a professional footballer.

A spokesman for Egg said: "David Coulthard, Eddie Irvine and Jenson Button all emerged as sport stars women find sexy.

"Motorsport is more exciting than football, cricket and other popular sports and of course there is the element of risk and danger which gives it much greater sex appeal."

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From Saturday's Times - all the words highlighted in red are word I 'utilise' on a regular basis. Does that make me an ar$#*ole or something then?


SATURDAY AUGUST 18 2001
The professor's gaffe list
  • Albeit: “For those who prefer a pompous three-syllable word when ‘but’ or ‘though’ would do”.

  • Epicentre: Should only be used by seismologists and idiots.

  • Fortuitous: “A classic example of using a poncy Latin word when ‘lucky’ would do just as well.”

  • Hegemonic: Most commonly incorrectly used “in the most awful sort of Post-Modernist drivel”.

  • Ironically: “The label applied to every mildly engaging coincidence”.

  • Linear: “Purely a mathematical or technical term and should not be used in any other sense”.

  • Peruse: “Where possible use the word ‘read’.”

  • Privileged: “Used as an insult to anyone who happens to know what they are talking about.”

  • Synergy: “Dishonest business-speak, pretentious jargon.”

  • Utilise: “Not just a fancy word for ‘use’, the word should mean ‘put to a useful purpose’ something which might otherwise be wasted.”
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